Morning Pages - Elmo & Ace's Accidents


Profanity ahead. Proceed with caution, but please do proceed :).


This Morning wasn’t too bad. The boys didn’t have any accidents in the house at all, which was really nice. Elmo’s age is starting to show more and more everyday and his bladder isn’t able to hold like it used to. We take them out frequently, but this guy still likes to go in the house on occasions. Sometimes, I fee like it’s because he doesn’t like the cold so he holds it until he’s in a warmer environment. Although this morning, I woke up to some well behaved pups, I was still slightly livid from yesterdays incident.

Yesterday, they seriously pissed me off so bad. LIKE WHO IN THE HELL WELCOMES YOU WITH SHIT?! SSSSSHHHHHIIIIITTTT ALLLLL OVER THE PLACE! So thoughtful of them. Seriously, so thoughtful of them to leave me this because cleaning up their accident after I know damn well they went out 2 hrs before I got home. Ryan usually comes home during his lunch at 2 and lets the boys out.

So let’s start from the beginning. I woke up late, not really because I woke up at 6:40 like I do most days, I just intended on waking up at 6 to get some work done. Anyways, as per usual, I woke up. Lazily brushed my teeth and hair, washed my face with some scalding hot water to wake me up (yes, not cold, HOT), then woke up the boys up to go outside to use the bathroom.

As usual, I woke them up by softly rubbing their bellies. Now and days, I have been having to carry them out of their bed because IDK why, but they have been rolling over routinely for me to pick their asses up like babies and carry them out the door. As I was carrying Elmo’s old chunky ass towards the back door while Ace followed behind me to go to the bathroom, to my unpleasant surprise, I see a puddle of yellow saying, “GOOD MORNING SUNSHINE!” in the middle of the kitchen floor. GREAT. I threw Elmo’s ass outside (not really, I gracefully and lightly set him on the welcoming mat) and closed the door behind me while they did their business. Only to hear them asking to come back inside after no more than 3 minutes of being out in the cold foggy morning.


I walked over to the towel rack, strung out what seemed to be 3-4 feet of paper towel because it seemed sufficient enough to clean their mess. Yes, I am aware of how wasteful and bad for the environment this can be but I did it anyways, like I said it’s a constant journey of trying to better myself and reduce my negative impact on the world. Some days are better than others. But that’s beside the point of this story. I then placed the long string of towels on top of WHOEVERS mess it was and wiped it all up. I then proceeded to wipe the spot down with Lysol wipes and for good measure, sprayed some Lysol over the spot as well. You can NEVER be too clean. I then let them inside and told them, “ No treats! One of you fucked up. SO NO TREAT! You know better.” They looked at me with despair. Their sad eyes drooping, longing for their beloved after potty treat. I ignored them, went to my room to finish getting ready and closed the bedroom door behind me. Leaving them to go to their bed in the living room instead. I didn’t want to look at their faces because I was so irritated with them at the moment.

I came home thinking, “the worst is over.” Man was I in for a delightful and pungent treat. I had kind of suspected something was wrong because I wasn’t greeted by Ace’s usual bouncing up and down from his forceful and masculine, “SOMEONES HERE!” bark. But I was being hopeful and giving them the benefit of the doubt and thought, “maybe Ace is sleeping in our room….” He wasn’t. As I opened the door to enter the house, a whiff of this warm, wet, lingering pungent aroma hit me in the face like a train passing through. Shit. Literally and figuratively was about to go down, and it already had happened. I walked in, saw two landmines waiting for me in the living room.

In the corner by the fireplace, I first see Elmo. Body halfway off their bed, knocked the fuck out while Ace was buried in my dad’s army blanket, with only his scared twitching ears and animated eyebrows peaking over the covers. He knew someone had done something wrong. And when ONE of them does something wrong, they’re both in trouble. THERE’S NO I IN TEAM! And those two….they’re a team, so they are treated as such.

As I walked past the two landmines to see the extent of their accidents I turn the corner towards the kitchen and find that someone had the AUDACITY to run their mud butt ass on the kitchen floor leaving a streak right in the middle of the kitchen floor walkway almost as if some talented chef had perfectly placed it there. Like a dabble of melted chocolate placed on a plate smeared in one fluent forward motion with the back of the spoon creating a beautiful streak to lay your goodies on. Although I was amazed with how aesthetically pleasing this streak was placed, I was disgusted.

Trying to keep my cool and not make matters worse by throwing up all over the place from the stench and sight, I proceeded to put my stuff away before addressing the issue. Glaring at both of them the whole time. They could see the anger in my eyes as they buried themselves into my dad’s army blanket a little further, hoping it would help provide some sort of protection for them. After putting my stuff away, I rudely nudged them out of their bed for them to see what they had done wrong. I lectured them and then hurried them outside while I cleaned up their mess. I opened all the windows to air the stench out, grabbed a trash bag, a handful of towels, Lysol wipes and the Lysol spray, and I went to town gagging trying to erase any remains of this accident from the history of this house and day as best I could. I also made sure to vacuum the floor after they came back inside just for a little more dramatic effect to scare them. The worse is now over….at least I thought it was.

As the boys were laying in their bed by the fireplace scared shitless, from my glares and lecturing, I left for volleyball after cleaning and tidying up the house. This would get my mind of things. BTWs, we won one game and lost the other. Buuut, we beat the undefeated team soo that’s a complete win for me!


After volleyball, I went to Safeway to go grocery shopping and got the boys some new food because they were running out. I should have let them starve like the Beast threated Bell the first night he requested to have dinner with her in Beauty and the beast -___-. I walked into the house, three bags of groceries in one hand and their heavy ass Beneful Incredible Bites dog food in the other and set them in the kitchen. Ace was greeting me jumping up and down following me as I got settled in and put my stuff from volleyball away. Once I got done, I started putting the groceries away and found yet ANOTHER puddle of pee, pooled under their NEW bag of food. I guess this was Ace’s way of telling me he wanted to try something new. He got spanked, lectured and was taken outside once again while I cleaned their mess for the THIRD time today. This time I knew it was him because throughout all this, Elmo was PTFO’d on his bed in our room completely clueless. So in this instance, there was only “I” and that “I”, was Ace and he reaped the consequences.

AND THAT, is how my day went yesterday. They haven’t had an accident like this in a REALLY long time. Probably last time was when we moved in. But man was I livid and pissed beyond myself. I guess they’re not the only ones to blame because the night before, I had given them some left over chicken (I’m not going to name names lol, but just know it most definitely wasn’t me) that was going to be wasted. An animal died for that and I wasn’t gonna have their life be wasted like that for nothing. But it came back and bit me in the ass the next day -___-. To MY defense though, when I took them to the vet before I left for Cali in August the Vet told me I needed to feed them animal based food since they were eating vegetarian food. The vet basically looked at me like I was punishing them because I wasn’t eating meat.

What do you do when your furry friends/family members make an oopsie in the house??

My 5 minutes for my morning brain dump is up, so I’ll see you again later today in my nightly recap!  

PS. I’m doing a challenge where I have to give 3 compliments a day. I figured it would be a good thing to do since there is so much negativity and people are
constantly bringing people down. I want to keep lifting people up so making a point to give 3 compliments a day is like a way for me to measure I did the bare
minimum for today. A little messed up, but it’s also a good thing. SO, with
that said and 3 minutes over my time. Join me if you’d like and comment down
below how it went for you! It’s lowkey a little uncomfortable if you’re not
used to it.

Todays Forecast:

Cloudy: High of 58F and a Low of 39F
Precipitation: 0%
Wind: 7 MPH
Humidity: 100%


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